April 3, 2023
How to Find the Right Therapist and Why Therapy Can Be Life Changing
Why therapy can feel difficult to talk about
When I saw this bag on Facebook, I knew I had to have it. A bag proudly saying that therapy is cool felt bold, honest, and empowering.
But over twenty years ago, when I first started therapy, buying something like that would have felt completely different. At that time, I kept the fact that I was seeing a therapist to myself. I was worried about being judged, labelled as weak, or seen as someone who could not cope. Finding a therapist was difficult and there was a real sense of stigma around therapy, and it felt safer to stay quiet.
Over time, people noticed that I had changed. They could see something was different, but they could not quite explain why.
How attitudes towards therapy are changing
Things have shifted. There is still some stigma around therapy, but it is not as strong as it once was.
As a qualified counsellor, I no longer feel the need to hide the fact that I have therapy. In fact, I see it as something positive and supportive. That said, the way therapy is portrayed in the media can still be unhelpful. Some portrayals are unrealistic or uncomfortable to watch. Even knowing it is for humour, it can still feel difficult to see therapy misrepresented.
How to find the right therapist for you
Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially if you have never had counselling before. But the right support can be genuinely life changing.
There are a few important things to consider when choosing a therapist.
Why choosing a qualified therapist matters
Counselling in the UK is not fully regulated, which means anyone can call themselves a counsellor.
This makes it especially important to choose someone who is a member of a recognised ethical body such as BACP, NCS, or UKCP. Directories like Counselling Directory or Psychology Today can help you find qualified therapists. More importantly, they allow you to find someone you feel you can connect with.
The importance of feeling safe and heard in therapy
Most therapists offer an initial conversation. Sometimes this is free, and sometimes there is a small fee.
This is your opportunity to see how you feel. You are allowed to speak to more than one therapist before deciding. A good therapist will understand this. The most important part of therapy is the relationship.
Ask yourself:
- Do I feel safe
- Do I feel heard
- Do I feel comfortable
Also consider practical things such as location, accessibility, and whether you would feel comfortable if you saw someone you know nearby.
Different types of therapy and what to expect
There are many different types of therapy. The outcome may be similar, but the process can feel very different.
Some therapists are more active and creative, using approaches like art, movement, or sand tray work. Others may focus more on talking, reflection, or mindfulness. What works for one person may not work for another. As an integrative counsellor, I use different approaches depending on the person I am working with. Therapy should feel tailored, not rigid.
Some therapists specialise in areas such as neurodiversity, trauma, LGBTQ+ support, or domestic abuse. You may find it helpful to choose someone with a specific focus, or simply someone you feel comfortable with.
Online, telephone or in person therapy
Since the pandemic, therapy has become much more accessible.
Online and telephone sessions can be a powerful option, especially if you live in a rural area, have a busy schedule, or feel anxious about attending in person. While face-to-face therapy was once seen as the gold standard, many therapists are now highly skilled at working online. For many people, it is just as effective and far more accessible.
What you can gain from therapy
People come to therapy for many different reasons.
Some have clear goals, while others simply know that something does not feel right. Both are completely valid. Therapy can help you feel more understood, more grounded, and more connected to yourself.
It is not always easy. Some sessions can feel emotional or challenging. You might cry, feel uncomfortable, or question things. This is a natural and important part of the process. Therapy is not linear. There may be moments that feel like setbacks, but these are often part of deeper growth.
With the right therapist, the process can be powerful, supportive, and genuinely transformative.
Final thoughts on starting therapy
Looking back, I can see how much therapy has shaped my life in positive ways.
What once felt something to hide now feels like something to value. If you are thinking about starting therapy, you are not weak. You are taking a strong and meaningful step towards understanding yourself and creating change.
If you are thinking about starting therapy and would like a safe, supportive space to explore things, you can find out more about how I work here.
And if you like the bag as much as I do, I bought it from Kayleigh at Up Your Alley.Hhere’s a link to her shop:
Helpful links:
https://nationalcounsellingsociety.org/
https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/
