April 3, 2023
Whilst on holiday, I had the opportunity to step outside my comfort zone and try something I had not done for over twenty years, skiing. I had been on a couple of ski holidays in my twenties, and the experience had put me off for many reasons. Skiing is one of my husband’s favourite activities, so after some gentle persuasion and reframing thoughts of past skiing expereinces, I agreed to an hour’s lesson to see if it really was as bad as I remembered.
One of the things I had always found difficult was being high up on the mountain, with the village looking tiny below. As the instructor suggested moving from the green slope to blue and then to red, I could feel the anxiety building. I started to feel overwhelmed by the height and the sense of being out of control. My instructor, who was probably not even born the last time I skied, said something that completely shifted my perspective. “Don’t think of it as being higher, think of it as being longer so you can practise more turns.” In that moment, I felt calmer and more confident. It was no longer about being high up, it became an opportunity to improve and build skill. That simple shift is a powerful example of reframing thoughts.
Reframing thoughts is such an underused but powerful technique. It can help reduce anxiety, challenge unhelpful thinking, and create a more balanced and realistic perspective. Here are five practical ways to help you reframe negative thoughts.
Get out of your head
Writing your thoughts down on paper or on your phone can help create space in your mind. When thoughts stay in your head, they can feel overwhelming and intense. Seeing them written down can reduce their power and make them feel more manageable and less intimidating.
Catastrophes and calamities
Catastrophising thoughts can escalate quickly, leading you to imagine the worst possible outcome. Reframing thoughts can help interrupt this pattern. Take a moment to pause and breathe, then ask yourself, “How likely is this to actually happen?” This helps separate the emotional response from a more grounded and realistic perspective.
What would you say to a friend?
Many people are far kinder to others than they are to themselves. When clients share their inner dialogue, I often ask whether they would speak that way to a friend. The answer is almost always no. Reframing thoughts can involve shifting your internal voice to something more compassionate and supportive. Ask yourself what you would say to someone you care about in the same situation.
Negatives into positives.
Reframing thoughts is not about forced positivity. It is about creating a more balanced and realistic perspective. Instead of jumping to the worst case scenario, consider what a more likely outcome might be. This can help reduce anxiety without dismissing your feelings.
Beware of comparisons
Comparing yourself to others can quickly lead to feelings of inadequacy and self doubt. I often refer to this as compare and despair. You may feel that you should be further ahead or doing better, but you do not know the full picture of someone else’s life. Reframing thoughts in this situation might involve asking yourself why you feel the need to compare and what purpose it serves.
Reframing thoughts takes time. It involves building new ways of thinking, which means creating new pathways in the brain. Try practising these techniques consistently for at least a week and then reflect on what has changed. If something is not working, it may need adjusting.
Sometimes reframing thoughts is not enough on its own. This is where support from a counsellor can be helpful. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore anxiety, understand thought patterns, and develop more effective tools to support your wellbeing.
