April 3, 2023
As you may have noticed from the photos on my website, I’m not a natural redhead. But for a long time, I had always looked at people who had dyed their hair really red. I used to think I should be more of a grown up, and that those vivid colours were not suitable for me. When I was in the hairdressers having my usual cut and colour, someone nearby was having their hair coloured bright red. I said to my hairdresser, “I wish I could have my hair that colour.” She replied, “Why don’t you then?” I came out with all the usual reasons why I shouldn’t have it done. Her response was simple, “It won’t take long and it’s reversible if you don’t like it.” That stayed with me. When no one noticed I had my hair done, I decided I was going to be true to myself, step outside my comfort zone, and go for it. Now I absolutely love it, and I’m so pleased I found the courage to be true to myself. The response from others has been really positive, not the judgement I had imagined. Being true to yourself is not always easy, especially if you are used to seeking approval or staying within your comfort zone. So with that in mind, here are five things that can help you be true to yourself and build self awareness.
Stop trying to please others.
Sounds simple right? It sounds simple, but many of us look to others for validation before making decisions. It can feel like you don’t have a choice, but you do. Setting boundaries is an important form of self care. Once you decide what you are able to do, communicating that with kindness is key. It may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you are used to putting other people’s needs before your own. The people who truly respect and care about you will understand your need to live more authentically. Those who react negatively may have been benefiting from your people pleasing. This can be an opportunity to reflect on your support network and whether it truly supports you.
Learn how to say no and discover your boundaries
Saying no can feel difficult because it often comes with uncomfortable emotions. Many people say yes when they really mean no because they do not want to disappoint others or be seen as difficult. Saying no is one of the most powerful forms of self care. It creates space for rest, reflection, and activities that align with your values. It also helps you take back control of your time and energy. Ultimately, you have the right to decide what is right for you.
Trust your intuition
That gut instinct you feel when something does not seem quite right is important. Trusting your intuition can be challenging, especially if you are used to seeking reassurance from others. Over time, this can lead you to ignore your own inner voice. Your intuition is there to guide you and help you make decisions that are right for you. Learning to trust it is a powerful step towards being true to yourself.
Accept that everyone makes mistakes
Many people strive for perfection, putting huge amounts of pressure on themselves to get everything right. This can be exhausting and often unrealistic. Shifting your mindset from perfect to good enough can be freeing. Mistakes are not failures, they are opportunities to learn and grow. Often it is through making mistakes that we make the most meaningful progress. Letting go of perfection allows you to move forward with more confidence and self compassion.
Take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes people avoid responsibility because of self limiting beliefs. They may feel they do not deserve better or that change is not possible. When we blame others, we give away our power and avoid making changes. Blame can lead to resentment and frustration, while taking responsibility allows you to take control of your life. It shifts your mindset from feeling powerless to feeling empowered and capable of change.
Staying true to yourself often means stepping outside your comfort zone again and again. Each time you do, your confidence grows, your boundaries become stronger, and your intuition becomes clearer. Having the support of a counsellor can help you build self awareness and develop tools to support your emotional wellbeing. If you are finding it difficult to be true to yourself or want support in building confidence and boundaries. Don’t know where to start? Click here.
